December 31 ~
I have been reading everyone's Year in Review, Recap, Wrap up, Wind down and whatever else it has been called and realized that a lot has happened this year. I can not call it the worst year of my life... I think 2007 from a more personal and emotional stand point was hella rough. But there were some actual positive things that occurred in 2008. Earlier in the day I was prone to random wet face moments as I sat and reflected on the fact this this year is over. It is not that I am sad to see it go but more like wow that was some shit. Kinda like having your head in a vice for hours and then the person who put it there takes it off and just leaves like nothing happen.

Today was odd. I over slept. The wind was talking but I haven't figured out that language yet. When I got on the train it was dry as a bone. When I got off at my destination it was like some one poured a bucket of water on everything. Apparently there was a mini blizzard/hurricane that took place all as I was underground traveling. Evidence that 2008 is being cleansed away. With the wind in full force and the kooky weather that is nothing but a purge of the old to bring in the new. I have been rather melancholy over the past coupla weeks. I was really trying to figure out why I was so glum and emotional about the New Year.

I elected to stay home tonight. Not really in a party party mood. There are 5 minutes left in this year (apparently 6 they said something about a leap minute). Happy New Year!
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So I stayed home and made some greens and blackeyed peas.

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January 2~
While the other AZA honies (DC term) are fasting I have decided to fast starting on Monday. Fasting last year was so difficult for me. I was uber reluctant and I couldn't figure out why. Hopefully fasting this year will provide those answers. When my head was a whirl and I was sitting on the train platform this week with tears in my eyes thinking they would soon be icicles stuck to my cheeks, I gave a friend a call to ask if he would pull some cards for me. He graciously obliged though he was at work. I asked
What is the overall theme for 09 and why am I so emotional over the end of this year?

When you are in your little bubble, you don't think about the goings on of other folks like you should. He told me a lot of folks are emotional '08 wasn't the best year ever. But he also pulled the Empress in Reverse which kind of held me in shock a bit. Ok... that is my card my archetype what is she doing showing up in reverse that can't be good. He did a past, present and hidden influences pull. He interpreted it as meaning I haven't been following my intuition. Damn... there are to many balls to juggle I must have dropped intuition somewhere accidentally. If it isn't following my destiny, living my truth or being honest with myself it is the intuition. How am I supposed to keep up? I think I may have found it over there in the corner by the mirror now the goal is to pick it back up and figure out the reimplementation it back into the rotation. Here is the clincher... with out dropping any of the other balls.

So I am revamping things. Spending more time with me, rearranging my altar and my altar time, allotting for vacation time because I realize that is important to me. On the business side of things new business policies... new ways of attracting clientele and new marketing schemes. The word of 2009 is Change. Some folks are not going to like it. Hell, I may not like it myself at times. But I am putting in the work to change the outcomes I have been getting. Pay attention it is a new dawn which equals a new day.

This blog entry was 3 days in the making please excuse any disjointedness (it is a word now)