WomanSpeak and Getting Older

On Friday, December 12th I had the honor of presenting at "Woman Speak". This amazing event is the brain child of Christine Celise and features women every other month who share their life stories. I shared the space with a spectacular sister and midwife named, Marialuz Castro Johnson. "Luz" spoke about the transformative power of birth as a metaphor of life. I think my presentation was a great complement to her discussion and in sharing I learned a great deal.

My story is fraught with loss and pain, but there is also great joy, particularly in the friendships and that have resulted. In my presentation I shared how the deaths of my mother and then my sister, marked my transformation and spiritual growth. There is only change with sacrifice and the changes that I have experienced have only added to the expansion of my life. As I said at the event, my goal is not the length of my life, but the width. The talk I had planned was not the the talk that was given, I felt myself getting downright emotional. I think I zoned out at one point as I tried to "keep it together" and was trying to figure out how to ground myself in the midst of talking about Sofi's pasing. At some point I looked up the familiar faces of the AZA were right there holding me down and sending supportive energy. By the time I was done, sisters were smiling and crying and it was just a beautiful night of honest sharing.

The biggest lesson for me was the fact that sharing is healing. I think that is obvious and I don't think it's a great epiphany, but the stories that were told were needed by some of the women in the audience. I was really moved by how raw the emotion was for some and the confirmation that many felt the night had provided. It was the first time I talked about Sofi and my mom in public from a personal space, and I am really glad I did it.

Eight days later, I celebrated my 36th birthday and I thought about how difficult the last few months had been. The talk served not only as an opportunity to share, but also as the end of a cycle that had been nothing short of challenging. It was no surprise that the talk was on the night of one of the fullest moons we have had this year. It is also no surprise, at least to me, that since the talk, things are righting themselves in profound ways. I was surrounded by a lot of love and light during my birthday and the wishes and hugs are just confirmation of how wide my life has been so far. As I prepare to greet 2009, I am making the best of the last remaining days of this year and creating a springboard from which to jump head first into 2009. I am sure I will blog some more before 2009, but for those reading this, take heart in who you truly are and know that in all change is a lesson that probably needs to be learned.

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